Pittsburgh Wins Big in Tecmo Super Bowl

My first day as a professional media expert covering the Super Bowl didn’t go quite as expected.

It is too warm in Michigan right now to wear my official USA Today media jacket, so I haven’t gotten to do any reporting.

Since I could not get anywhere near anything Super Bowl related, I decided to play the game myself…Super Tecmo Bowl style.

That’s right, the ole NES is the most accurate predictor of football games ever. Its realistic game play dwarfs that of the new Madden or any other professional football game.

There is no need to watch the game, because I’m going to tell you what will happen. So this is what will happen February 5th, 2006 at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.

(Disclaimer: I was the Pittsburgh Steelers.)

In the first quarter, both teams will be jittery. Dave Krieg will throw an interception and Brian Blades will fumble the ball after a reception. The Steelers will be unable to capitalize on these mistakes. Bubby Brister will throw two interceptions, including one in the end zone, and the Seahawks will lead 3-0 after one quarter.

The game will take a turn for the worse for the underdog Seattle team as Bubby Brister catches fire after throwing his third interception. Brister will connect with Louis Lipps on a Hail Mary as the first half concludes. Steelers 7, Seahawks 3 at the half.

The half time will be somewhat risqué. A cheerleader will show her underpants and will wink into the camera. The FCC will be pissed.

The second half will be all Pittsburgh. The Steelers MLB, Hardy Nickerson, will have four sacks and a safety to seal the Seahawks fate. Pittsburgh’s rushing attack never will gain full steam, but will be sufficient enough to take time off the clock and set up a field goal and two more Brister TD passes.

Seattle fell apart in the fourth quarter. The Seahawks were only down 14-3 entering the fourth, but Nickerson’s safety and two Brister TD’s and a field goal left the NFC (they were still in the AFC when Tecmo Bowl came out) Champs down 33-3. The game will end and the Pittsburgh Steelers will be victorious.

There it is. Pittsburgh wins Super Bowl XL 33-3.

Back to Downriver

Well, I’m back in Wyandotte/Southgate/Riverview. Officially my address is Southgate, but the next street has a Riverview address and one street in the other direction has a Wyandotte address.

Whatever, it’s all Downriver.

Everyone thinks I’m back here because my neurology rotation at Michigan State ended and I start ophthalmology tomorrow. That’s part of it, but the real reason is because I’m part of the professional media covering the Super Bowl and I need to get to work. I have my USA Today coat and I’m ready to use it. I don’t care too much about interviewing the players or “covering the stories”; I just want to go to some of those special parties. I think my USA Today coat will help me with some of that.

On my way home I listened to the Pistons v. Lakers professional basketball game. 92.1 FM out of Lansing/Charlotte went out shortly before Brighton. I figured I could catch the game on one of Detroit’s local amplitude modulation stations, like 1130 “The Fan” (stupid name), but I couldn’t get it until I was on f**king Northline about two miles from my place. I thought amplitude modulation stations were supposed to carry farther than frequency modulation stations. Anyhoo, I found out the Pistons won. They are 32 games over .500, and they have only played 42 games. Neato.

I switched the station to 1270 AM, because I couldn’t hear the Pistons through the static. Some goof ball was interviewing some other moron about college basketball. The moron said the Big Ten is a deep conference this year, but not as good as the Big East. Maybe, but listen to the teams he said were the top teams in the Big Ten: Indiana, Wisconsin, Illinois and Michigan. What?!!? Where is Michigan State on that list? I’m convinced no one likes MSU besides me. More likely, I’m over sensitive about MSU. So I switched it back to the static to try to hear the Pistons.

I still have a lot of unpacking to do. I’m excited to go to Detroit and see what it looks like. I’m glad to see the Telegraph exit off of I-94 is finally finished. It’s a really cool blue bridge (read that with a sarcastic voice).

Living alone has its advantages and disadvantages. Advantage: I’m by myself. Disadvantage: I’m by myself. One is the loneliest number one is the loneliest number…

I liked staying in East Lansing and Emily, Brooke and Jeni were all gracious hosts. Thank you.

Addendum to Previous Post

U of M's PG, Daniel Horton, was 8/8 from the free throw line last night. On the season he is now 58/64.

That's right. He shot 1/8 (12.5%) of his total free throws on the season in last night's victory over Michigan State.

The Big Ten should review the tape when Brent Petway elbowed Maurice Ager after an Ager dunk. Petway, who has had trouble with academics during his time at U of M, apparently has anger management issues as well. There should have been a technical called on the play. Now, the Big Ten can make up for the missed call. Petway should be suspended for at least the Wolverines next game against Wisconsin.

Officials F**k Over Spartans, Wolverines Win

The University of Michigan is now 2-12 in their last fourteen games against the Michigan State Spartans.

The Wolverines beat the Spartans 72-67 to improve to 14-3, while State dropped to 15-5. It was U of M’s first win over a ranked opponent this year.

It appears as this may have been an impressive win for the Wolverines, but don’t be fooled. MSU was victimized by poor officiating all night.

Back on January 12th I wrote this:
"Last year road teams were 31-57 in the Big Ten. Not very good. I recently complained about the foul shoots in the Wisconsin/MSU game. Alando Tucker was 6-17 from the free throw line, while MSU (as a team) was 11-15. Wisconsin was 14-30 overall from the charity stripe. Last night the Spartans, this time at home, made twice as many free throws as the Hosiers took, 22-24 to 8-11.

I don’t like discrepancies like these. It made me think. Is this a product of the officials favoring the home team, or the home playing more aggressive and getting to the line more frequently?"

Tonight was inexcusable. State was clearly the more aggressive team. U of M settled for perimeter shots all night, while the Spartans took it to the hoop. If MSU lost this game because they were outplayed, I would be fine with it. But look at the numbers:

FG%: MSU 49.1 %, U of M 42.6%
3-Pt%: MSU 40.9%, U of M 33.3%
Assists: MSU 17, U of M 10

So where was the game decided? At the free throw line, due to absurd officiating. U of M was 27-34 and MSU was 6-10. The Spartans were called for 27 fouls while the Wolverines were whistled for only fourteen.

Paul Davis, Maurice Ager and Matt Trannon each had four fouls. Shannon Brown had three fouls and Drew Neitzel, who played an outstanding game, fouled out for the first time this season.

The officials took the game out of State’s hands in the first half and then completely screwed-up the second half. They missed an obvious technical foul on Brent Petway when he threw an elbow into Ager, as Ager posterized him on an alley-oop. Then they continued to make phantom calls away from the ball. Even U of M graduate Tim McCormick, who did the play-by-play, thought the calls against MSU were outrageous.

MSU wasn’t outplayed. U of M wasn’t the better team. It is just too hard to win a game win it is eight on five.

The officials took this game away from the players and it was a shame, because it could have been a great game. They have given hundred of U of M fans false hope that this team is actually worth anything. Don’t be fooled, the Wolverines are JV at best. I look forward to February 18th. Here’s my early prediction: MSU 89, U of M 64.

It's Official! Summers is a Spartan

The basketball recruiting class of 2007 is loaded with talent. The state of Michigan has its best class in recent memory and Michigan State is cashing in early.

It was made official today, the top junior in the state, Durrell Summers, gave his verbal commitment to Tom Izzo and the Michigan State men’s basketball team.

Summers joins two other State commits in PG, Kalin Lucas and SG, Chris Allen. This guard trio gives MSU arguably the top backcourt recruiting class for the class of 2007.

All three guards have the potential to compliment each other perfectly. Lucas is a point guard who likes to push the ball up the court, he has a solid jump shot and the ability to get in the lane and create shots for other players. Allen is a sniper. He has unlimited range and great athleticism. Summers has the skill and talent to create his shot as well as pull up from long range and hit threes. This three-guard combo, if they stay together and live up to their potential, could be similar to Illinois’ Final Four team of Luther Head, Dee Brown and Derron Williams.

The Spartans basketball future is looking very nice. State will have depth and talent at every position in 2007. Summers, Allen and Lucas will join bigs like, Drew Naymick (who will be a red-shirt senior), Idong Ibok, Marquise Gray and Goran Suton. The seven footer Tom Herzog will be a sophomore in 2007 and have a year of experience at the college level. This guard trio will have depth in the backcourt as well, with Drew Neitzel, Travis Walton, Maurice Joseph, Isaiah Dahlman and Raymar Morgan. This could potentially be Coach Izzo’s best team.

Coach Izzo and MSU will have one other scholarship for the class of 2007. One may believe signing a big man is essential because State has already signed three guards. Well, I beg to differ and I will plead with Tom Izzo to pick up another wing player, Saginaw Arthur Hill (SAH) wing, Darquavis Tucker.

The Spartans are stacked with bigs from Herzog to Naymick to Suton to Ibok to Gray and even Morgan at 6’8’’ could play the four if needed. The college game is a game of guards. Illinois in 2005, St. Joe’s in 2004, Villanova in 2006 and the list could go on and on were all deep at the guards. MSU could add so much athleticism and talent with Dar Tucker. Scouting reports on Tucker state he is ahead of former SAH star, Jason Richardson. That’s a scary thought considering Richardson’s talent.

MSU can always add forwards in the class of 2008. But right now the guard position is too stacked not to take advantage of it.

The commitments of Summers, Allen and Lucas give State the top backcourt class and top five class overall for 2007. Hopefully the Spartans can receive a commitment from Tucker. If not, MSU men’s basketball is still looking very, very strong.

Random Thoughts On My Half-Birthday

Here’s how Gus Ganakas, the Michigan State men’s basketball color-man on the radio, would say it is my half-birthday. Today Andrew Zillgitt turned 25 and a half. It’s been six months since his 25th birthday. It’ll be six months until he turns 26.

George W. Bush said he doesn’t recall meeting lobbyist Jack Abramoff, who pleaded guilty to fraud, tax evasion and conspiracy to bribe public officials. I’m sure President Bush’s relationship with Abramoff was similar to his relationship with “Kenny Boy” Lay, the CEO of Enron. When will Bush tell the truth? He lied about doing cocaine, he lied about his service during Vietnam, he lied to the American public about WMDs and the Iraqi threat and he lied to the Senate Intelligence Committee and then spied on Americans without warrants. All of this as a great Christian leader. He’s a douche-bag.

TBS’s commercial about whether a woman should laugh at a colleague because he is being called by the wrong name isn’t funny. That’s a little ironic, don’t you think?

When I grow up I want to be a neurologist.

The second installment of Happy Fun Time with Jon Cooley was excellent. There was a wild skip-it game that was coordinated to Jon playing Chris’ trap-kit. Chris and Katherine’s house is super sweet. Thanks for the pizza. It was good.

A DJ on 88.9 the Impact, Michigan State’s radio station, said Doogie Howser was the first blogger. Right on.

MSU plays at U of M this Wednesday night. I think this is the year MSU and U of M each protects their home court. Lester Abram and Dion Harris are under-rated wings and Daniel Horton will be able to abuse Drew Neitzel (get it, yeah it’s a cheap shot…sorry). If Neitzel plays how he did against Iowa this past Saturday, the Spartans have a good chance to win. If he doesn’t, it’ll be a long night. Go State!

This will be my last weekend at Michigan State for a little while. I have a pediatric shelf-exam at the end of February that I have to pass-to-pass medical school. It would make more sense to have had this after my pediatric rotation way back in late October and early November. It would also make sense if it only covered outpatient cases, since I never was in the hospital for any pediatric cases. But MSUCOM doesn’t make sense. It never has in the three years I’ve been there. Anyhoo, I was thinking of trying to make my last weekend like an old time weekend: start at Lou and Harry’s, eat free tacos and drink two dollar Corona (too much Corona) and then if things get good head to the Riv or over to Bdubs or somewhere else.

Thank you Emily and Brooke for letting me inconvenience you and sleep on your couch for the last month. I appreciate it. Thanks Jeni for letting me chill at your place too. I’ll be excited to be back in my kick-ass apartment in less than a week…and I think Emily, Brooke and Jeni will be happy I’m back in the Dotte as well.

Friends, believe the good news of the Bible. In Jesus Christ we are forgiven. Amen.

Are You Serious?

Digger Phelps you are a complete f**king idiot. You cannot seriously, with a straight face, say the University of Michigan Men's basketball team is a sleeper for the Final Four.

U of M is a better team than most people think. We'll see how they do against Michigan State this Wednesday. So far they are 0-2 against top 25 teams. The Wolverines have a good chance of beating the Spartans, but that would hardly qualify them as a Final Four contender.

What was Digger's rationale for this absurd statement? All the players are back from last year's U of M team. That team was 13-18. The year before most of these players won the NIT. Quite the success.

Digger Phelps is a f**king idiot.

Am I Really That Bad? Kinda

It has been said (and correctly so) that I never answer my phone and I never return calls.

Is that really true?

Yes, yes it is.

But, am I as bad as people think.

Maybe. Here are the statistics of my cell phone call record.

My cell phone records the last 60 incoming and outgoing calls. These last 60 calls occurred from 12/24/05 – 1/22/06.

Of the 60 calls, 38 were incoming calls. I answered twenty of these calls right away, roughly 53%. For the eighteen calls I initially missed I returned six of the eighteen. The average time it took for me to return these calls was 52 minutes.

One may think, “He only returned six of the missed eighteen calls. That’s pathetic.” Well, if you thought that, you’d be wrong and please don’t call me pathetic.

Of the eighteen missed calls seven were from Jeni. So I don’t need to call her back seven times, once will cover those seven missed calls. Three missed calls were from DJ, two of those concerned one issue and I called him back once. So I still owe him a call back. Dustin called two times about the same topic; so one return call covered his initial call. My parents called three times, I called them back every time and actually answered their initial call once. Bryon called two times and I returned one of his calls, so I owe him one call back as well.

You may be wondering, “Who’s call did I miss the most?” Many people argue I always miss their call, but only one person can truly claim this. Jeni called me seven times. I answered once and returned one of her calls. Apparently I only answer 14.3% of Jeni’s incoming calls. Sorry Jeni.

I still miss a lot of calls (18/38, ~ 47.3 %) but, I almost always return the call, and in a somewhat timely manner. One of my New Year’s resolutions was to answer my cell phone more and to return calls more promptly. I think I’m getting better. I hope I continue to improve. I’m trying my hardest, don’t call me worthless.

The Winner Is....

There has been a lot of discussion about the Mad Libs posts.

Emily received a lot of votes, and by a lot I mean like two or three. Nice job Emily. I agree with Mandi, Zach Morris is dreamy. But he is no dreamboat (that's Brian Maloney).

All of them were very good. Personally, I enjoyed DJ's and Jon's. Probably because they had the words poop and penis, which make me smile, because I'm five years old. Mrs. BBomes' was excellent; I love the Susquehanna usage. Kohler has a great vocabulary. Brooklyn's made me laugh really, really hard, maybe because on some levels it makes sense.

Since there is really no consensus winner, because everyone loves all of them equally, I cannot give out a grand prize to the winner.

Fear not! All will receive a prize. Next time I'm around each of you I will buy you a 22-ounce beer (can't lose with twenty-twos).

Thank you for the participation and the comments. Godspeed.

Time to Vote

So which one was your favorite?

I liked them all. Although, Emily's was rather tame.

Thank you for your replies.

I will see most of you for Happy Fun Time Part Deux, in B-Town (Brighton) on Friday.

DJ's Story

“Holy poop!” exclaimed Rush Limbaugh.

Bill O’Reilly (oh snap!) had just found a butt. He thought I could use this for running.

It was a stupid foot. “I’m so crashed. I think I’ll gingerly dance tonight.”

The next day he fought to the Hell. It was a crazy place full of smelly elves. There were some strange things there though. And he felt something odd could happen.

Just then a collection plate stole and everyone began cojoling.

“What should I do?” he thought. “I know I’ll fart my way out of here.”

He runned his way to safety. He wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do, but he kept being until he arrived at Whogivesacrapopolis.

“Thank God!” he annoyed. “This is the most sadly place I have ever bugged. I will use my turtle and live happily ever after.”

Jon's Story

“Holy trailer!” exclaimed Burt Reynolds.

Burt Reynolds had just found a leotard. He thought I could use this for stumbling.

It was a miniature peanut butter. “I’m so drooled. I think I’ll nervously sing tonight.”

The next day he rode a horse to the Disneyland. It was broken place full of sticky razor blades. There were some strange things there though. And he felt something odd could happen.

Just then a beer bong bent over and everyone began licking.

“What should I do?” he thought. “I know I’ll pray my way out of here.”

He chafed his way to safety. He wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do, but he kept dancing until he arrived at Iraq.

“Thank God!” he vomited. “This is the most politely place I have ever ate. I will use my penis and live happily ever after.”

Kohler's Story

“Holy pencil lead!” exclaimed Charlie Sheen.

Charlie Sheen had just found a steering wheel. He thought I could use this for squirting.

It was a monolithic gofer. “I’m so exalted. I think I’ll onward skedaddle tonight.”

The next day he falsified to the St. Peter’s Basilica. It was a petulant place full of staggering midgets. There were some strange things there though. And he felt something odd could happen.

Just then a schooner coveted and everyone began igniting.

“What should I do?” he thought. “I know I’ll disconnect my way out of here.”

He cocked his way to safety. He wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do, but he kept vindicating until he arrived at The Raisen River.

“Thank God!” he tampered. “This is the most overly place I have ever Andy Zillgitted. I will use my nihilism and live happily ever after.”

Mrs. BBomes' Story

“Holy Susquehana!” exclaimed Bryon.

Bryon had just found a sasquatch. He thought I could use this for running.

It was a hairy ball. “I’m so scratched. I think I’ll lazily bump tonight.”

The next day he towed to the Monroe. It was a red place full of skinny heads. There were some strange things there thought. And he felt something odd could happen.

Jus then a lolly pop sucked and everyone began screwing.

“What should I do?” he thought. “I know I’ll sit my way out of here.”

He licked his way to safety. He wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do, but he kept cussing until he arrived at Alaska.

“Thank God!” he ended. “This is the most quickly place I have ever pooped. I will use my head and live happily ever after.”

Brooklyn's Story

“Holy Michigan State University!” exclaimed Emily.

Emily had just found a Shawn Respert. She thought I could use this for humping.

It was a tasty beer. “I’m so screwed. I think I’ll quickly spit tonight.”

The next day she lied to the El Azteco. It was a itchy place full of green elf. There were some strange things there though. And she felt something odd could happen.

Just then a dick hurt and everyone began swallowing.

“What should I do?” she thought. “I know I’ll sing my way out of here.”

She burned her way to safety. She wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do, but she kept sucking until she arrived at Monroe.

“Thank God!” she loved. This is the most final place I have ever drunk. I will use my ball and live happily ever after.

Sorry, Now Let's Have Some Fun

Please accept my sincerest apologies.

Three of the probable ten people who read my incoherent thoughts on this site have told me my posts are too long. I’m sure other people think that I’m too long-winded as well. I don’t want anyone to be upset with the length of my blogs, so I’ll try to keep things short and sweet from now on. I can’t say I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.

Anyhoo, thanks for reading regularly.

A couple quick things.
Chris thanks for the Trudeau and quick law explanation. It makes sense to me now. He’s still a douche-bag though.
Jacob, you’re smart and my brain hurts from our recent discussions. They were good. I think we both brought up great points and I’d still like to see you and DJ run for president and VP.
Jon, Happy Fun Time the sequel is only a couple days away. Sweetness.
Jeni, thanks for reading a sports post…I’m so proud.

Now for some fun.
It’s Mad Libs time! Yeah, here’s the deal. I made up a little story and I’m gonna let whoever wants to write it. I’m sure everyone knows how Mad Libs works, but if you don’t I’ll explain it to you later. I’ll post all entries and then everyone can vote for the best. The winner will get some sort of prize. I guess there should be a deadline to send in your stories, so let’s say Tuesday January 17th. Cool? Good. I think it’ll be fun. And don’t be inhibited; they can be as raunchy or funny as you want. No limit to the number of entries either.


1. Noun
2. Person
3. Same person as two
4. Noun
5. Verb
6. Adjective
7. Noun
8. Verb ending in –ed
9. Adverb
10. Verb
11. Verb
12. Place
13. Adjective
14. Adjective
15. Noun
16. Noun
17. Verb
18. Verb ending in –ing
19. Verb
20. Verb ending in –ed
21. Verb ending in –ing
22. New place
23. Verb ending in –ed
24. Adverb
25. Verb
26. Noun

No Love! TBS and ESPN Hurt My Feelings

Apparently the most important sports news stories, according to ESPN, were the Lakers vs. the Cavaliers, the Corey Maggette and Ron Artest trade falling through, Reggie Bush declaring for the NFL draft, discussing teen golfer Michelle Wie’s terrible start to a tournament (it seems like all I ever here about her is how much she struggles) and the resignation of Buffalo Bills head coach Mike Mularky.

The rematch of last year’s NBA Finals between the champion San Antonio Spurs and the league’s best team the Detroit Pistons wasn’t important enough to lead the show.

The Pistons improved to 28-5 after dominating the Spurs in the SBC Center.

I prefer the Pistons flying under the radar, but it is also frustrating to see a team this good go this unappreciated. When it was the Chicago Bulls in the mid-nineties, it was all ESPN could talk about. And I have a feeling if the Miami Heat or New York Knicks started 28-5, a whole episode of ESPN Sportscenter, Cold Pizza, Pardon the Interruption and Around the Horn would be dedicated to how amazing Dwayne Wade and Shaquille O’Neal are or how Larry Brown is a genius coach.

As for TBS. I suffered through the Miss Bliss episodes. I sat quietly while the early junior high school episodes were played. I did this because I knew Zach and the rest of the Saved By the Bell gang would soon be in high school. I love those episodes.

But I turned on TBS this morning and it was the f**king college years. How the hell did it go from early junior high to college? Something is wrong.

I don’t care for the college years that much. I want to see Zach fail drivers ed, world peace break out and Zach treat Kelly to a special prom, the gang win a weekend to a live game of Clue and then finally get into the Malibu Sands Beach Club…if there’s time TBS could show Jessica Spano and her attempt at striping.

You see my mornings are very simple. I try to wake up before Emily and Brooke so I don’t take up their shower time, since it is their apartment. Then I iron my clothes and then I watch Saved by the Bell and Sportscenter. When this gets disrupted, I’m like an autistic boy who didn’t get to do what he/she wanted to do. Basically I’m pissed.

Now my whole morning is thrown off kilter. I was expecting high school episodes of Saved by the Bell and to see highlights of the Pistons/Spurs, but ESPN and TBS conspired to f**k up my morning.

I hate you TBS and ESPN. Jerks.

The Hoosiers Over-rated; Officials Screwing Up?

Well, it looks like winning on the road in the Big 10 is going to be a tough job again this year.

Last night Indiana had trouble with Michigan State at the Breslin Student Event Center and lost 87-73. Maurice Ager and Paul Davis returned to their true form scoring 28 and 23 points, respectively.

Now if the ESPN/Coaches Poll follows the same formula they did last week, MSU should jump up seven spots and the Hoosiers should fall seven.

It is ridiculous to think that Indiana should have gotten that ranking. I know rankings are meaningless, blah, blah, blah, but they still are the only “objective” measure in college athletics. If team a, who is unranked, beats team b who happens to be in the top 25, it’s a huge deal. ESPN goes nuts. So rankings do mean something…sort of.

The Spartans now have played five top ten teams and are 3-2 against them. The game versus the Hoosiers was the first game the Spartans played at home against a top ten team. It was Indiana’s first game on the road against a ranked opponent. If the Hoosiers had won, then I would have had to say I was wrong about my frustration over last week’s rankings. Turns out I was right: Indiana was over-hyped and over-rated.
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Now we’ll see about Ohio State. They match-up very well against the Spartans. Terrance Dials is the best big in the Big 10 and the Buckeyes can shoot the three. Under Thad Matta, OSU plays solid defense and puts a lot of pressure on the ball-handlers. I think OSU will beat the Spartans (84-69), but that doesn’t let them off the hook. They still need to win on the road.
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Wisconsin barely survived a game at Minnesota in which the Gophers started the game 1-20. That’s right 1-20! The Badgers improved to 3-0 in the Big Ten with a narrow 64-62 win on Tuesday night.

This was a great example of what happens when teams play Michigan State. How, you might be wondering, since this game didn’t have anything to do with the Spartans?

Let me explain.

When State played Illinois, Dee Brown lit up the Spartans for 34 points. At Iowa two days later, he scored six points. Three days later, Kammron Taylor dropped 27 on MSU. Then at Minnesota, Taylor only managed eight points and had seven turnovers.

So teams give it their best against Michigan State. Last night Marco Killingsworth had 27 in a losing cause. I wonder what he will do against Illinois later this week. If he follows the trend so far, he won’t reach double figures.
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Last year road teams were 31-57 in the Big Ten. Not very good. I recently complained about the foul shoots in the Wisconsin/MSU game. Alando Tucker was 6-17 from the free throw line, while MSU (as a team) was 11-15. Wisconsin was 14-30 overall from the charity stripe. Last night the Spartans, this time at home, made twice as many free throws as the Hosiers took, 22-24 to 8-11.

I don’t like discrepancies like these. It made me think. Is this a product of the officials favoring the home team, or the home playing more aggressive and getting to the line more frequently? Certainly MSU was the more timid team against Wisconsin, so some free-throw discrepancy should have been seen. However, last night, the Hoosiers were aggressive offensively, but tended to settle for outside jump shots in the second half. I don’t like to see any team, even if it is MSU; make twice as many free throws as the other team shoots.
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Picks for Big Ten games this weekend:
1. Iowa at Penn State – Iowa 76 PSU 59
2. Northwestern at Wisconsin – Wisconsin 64 Northwestern 51
3. Michigan at Illinois – Michigan 62 Illinois 58
4. Minnesota at Purdue – Purdue 63 Minnesota 55
5. Michigan State at Ohio State – OSU 84 MSU 69

Jacob Longton is Wicked Smart; Thanks for the Comments

The previous “nutriceuticals” post has sparked several great comments. DJ was curious as to when his heart would explode from Wendy’s Biggie Meals and McDonald’s Super-sized dinners.

Jon thought it was more enjoyable than reading Penthouse forum.

And Jacob asked an outstanding question that has stumped a biochemist at MSU and me.

Jacob asked:

explain this to me Dr. Z...what the hell is the deal with the new food labels? They are now required to include the amount of trans fats...This would probably be a good idea if it wasn't forced by our government. The FDA is basically useless if you ask me. After all those years of following a strict pyramid diet, they go and recreate the pyramid...and it's probably still wrong. I HATE bureaucrats!!…anyway, back to my point. I have been avoiding trans fats for quite a few years now, since I discovered how harmful they really are. So I was interested to see that they are now requiring that on labels. I have not seen a product yet that has more than 0g of trans fats. Jif peanut butter for instance is loaded with partially hydrogenated oils and hydrogenated oils, which as far as I knew were trans fats. Why then does the label say 0g trans fats. Is there something I am missing? Or is this just another example of the FDA being stupid?

I replied:

i did a little background research and you have brought up a great point. i'm not too sure how they are different, because from what i understand partial hydrogenation creates the trans fats that are worrisome. so i'm not sure how to answer that, but perhaps there is something in the organic chemistry of it. i can ask a biochem professor i know. i think'll she'll be able to answer it better and then i'll get back with you for a definitive answer. as a side note, here's a way i like to tell people to think about daily fat intake. your total fat intake for a day should not exceed 30% of your total caloric intake. so if something is 100 calories and it has 45 calories from fat, that's bad. if it was 20%, good. secondly, fats that are solid at room temperatures are better for you than those that are solid. so olive oil is better than butter. sticking by these rules are just as good as looking out for trans fats. thanks for the great question.

So Shelagh Ferguson-Miller, a biochemist at Michigan State University who lectured in my biochemistry and cardiology courses, responded to this question with this:

Hmm. I would wonder too. They usually are trans, to some extent. I can't explain their claim, unless they don't do much hydrogenation and then the level of trans is below that which "counts".

So the mystery continues…or Jacob’s critical analysis could earn him a huge lawsuit. Nice job Jacob!

Thank you for the comments.

"Nutriceuticals": Don't Believe the Hype

I rarely discuss medical issues in my posts, which is somewhat odd since apparently in the near future I’ll have DO attached to the end of my name.

But, as I was reading different treatment options for Parkinson’s Disease, I came across the use of Vitamin E, a fat-soluble vitamin with known anti-oxidant properties. Then later in the evening I saw an infomercial with Kevin Trudeau promoting his new book entitled something like, Natural Cures “They” Don’t Want You to Know About.” “They” encompasses the entire medical field from practicing physicians, to research physicians all the way to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

One of Trudeau’s claims is that he has a cure for diseases such as hypertension and diabetes. Interestingly he does not clarify what type of diabetes nor does he detail his magical cure (perhaps it is in his book). A statement that there is a cure for diabetes type II could have some validity that is there certainly are preventive measures one could take to avoid acquiring insulin resistance. For instance, eating a healthy diet void of foods high in processed sugar, drinking water instead of soda and regular exercise can, in an extremely loose usage of the word, “cure” diabetes.

However, the notion that type I diabetes mellitus, a hypothesized autoimmune disease in which one’s own body destroys pancreatic beta cells leaving the individual with no insulin, is curable is insulting.

Trudeau continued to make several other outrageous claims. In fact in 2003 he settled a lawsuit filed by the Federal Trade Commission due to his erroneous claims. As a result of this lawsuit he was banned from promoting any of his books or products. (So why am I watching him? Chris help me out!)

Are “nutriceuticals” more effective and safer than traditional pharmacological treatments? Yes and no. On a case-to-case basis, perhaps supplements help more. However, no large scale, controlled, randomized, double blind study has verified that supplements are safer or more effective than medications.

For example, Vitamin E was thought to be protective against stroke, heart attack and cancer. In the Mediterranean Diet study, Vitamin was not found to be preventive of any of these primary end-points, even after adjustments were made for age, sex, medical history, etc. It has not been shown to be an effective treatment in Parkison's Disease either.

Furthermore, the FDA does not regulate the administration of herbal and vitamin remedies. Therefore, doses may vary between different brand names. This is particularly dangerous if the patient takes supplements and medications concomitantly. For instance, St. John’s Wort is thought to help alleviate depression. It also inhibits the metabolism of warfarin (a blood thinner), which leads to elevated warfarin levels and increases the risk of hemorrhage.

Individuals should be encouraged to take certain supplements. Females of child-bearing age who are thinking about conceiving should begin taking folic acid, because folic acid has been shown to decrease neural tube defects, i.e., spina bifida in neonates. Perimenopausal females should take calcium and Vitamin D supplements to avoid bone loss and osteoporosis. Finally, chondroitin gluconate has been shown to help reduce the progression of cartilage loss in osteoarthritis.

Don’t buy into people who say pharmaceuticals are inferior to “nutriceuticals”, like Kevin Trudeau. However, do not discard supplements as unsafe or less effective than traditional medications. Discuss the use of any supplements with your physician before beginning a regular “nutriceutical” regimen.

Spartans Disrespected in ESPN/Coaches Poll

Explain this to me. I’m confused.

Michigan State’s men’s basketball team fell in the polls from number seven to number fifteen after two poor losses to two ranked teams, Illinois and Wisconsin.

I have written about how poor MSU has played. However, do they deserve that drop in the ESPN/Coaches Poll?

The Spartans have played four teams that were ranked in the top ten, Illinois was number six, Boston College was number six, Gonzaga was number three and Arizona was number eight. Furthermore, State has played four of the top six teams in the RPI, Illinois, Arizona, Wisconsin and Gonzaga. Michigan State after all of this is 12-4 and 2-2 against top ten teams. Oh yeah, none of these games were at the Breslin Student Event Center.

In the meantime, Illinois stayed at number six in the polls. Illinois lost to an unranked Iowa team by fifteen on Saturday and Dee Brown scored six points after dropping 34 of his teams 60 against MSU on Thursday.

Indiana is 10-2 and now ranked eighth, jumping seven spots from fifteen. Excuse me? Indiana has played three ranked teams, including number one Duke. Indiana is 2-1 in these games two of which were at Assembly Hall. Indiana is a good team, but they should not be ranked eighth.

Moreover, how is Boston College ranked ahead of MSU? The Spartans beat the Eagles in the Jimmy V Classic.

Ohio State lost to Indiana and jumped two spots to number sixteen. Ohio State has only played one ranked team, Indiana, and lost after blowing a seventeen-point lead. The OSU is 11-1 and has played nine of those games at Value City Arena. The Buckeyes are a strong team, but not deserving of that ranking.

Florida moved to number two and stayed unbeaten this week. They have played no ranked opponents (and may not all year because the SEC is so weak) and have played eleven of their fourteen games at home.

MSU has looked awful in their last two games. But this ranking is disrespectful. Teams like Indiana, Ohio State, Illinois and Florida are good teams but have played weak schedules with most of their games at home. It will be interesting to see how these teams handle the road games in the Big Ten and the SEC. My guess is, at the end of the season the road games will take a toll on these teams and their inflated records will look a lot different.

Indiana’s first true test is Wednesday at Michigan State. It is a must win for the Spartans. If Indiana wins they deserve of this ranking, but not until they win a tough game on the road against a quality opponent.

Izzo's "Train Wreck" Coming True

Coach Tom Izzo in his ultimate optimism said he saw a “train wreck” coming for Michigan State when the Big Ten schedule started. He was right on.

MSU has the toughest conference schedule of any Big Ten team, facing the three last place teams (Northwestern, Purdue and Penn State) one time each and opening with four of their first five games on the road, including at Illinois and at the Kohl Center in Madison, Wisconsin, where Coach Izzo has never won.

State is now 0-2 losing with an absolutely pathetic performance at Wisconsin, 82-63. This start to Big Ten schedule by the Spartans is a “train wreck” and it is time for MSU to sweat and panic.

MSU’s offense played awful. Their defense was nearly as deplorable. And the officiating was as bad as any game from this season.

Officiating aside, MSU lost this game because Drew Neitzel did not feed Paul Davis in the post. This problem was confounded by Davis’ early foul trouble and his lack of ball demand in the post.

This loss wasn’t entirely on Neitzel and Davis though. Maurice Ager had enough touches, but his slump continued; he shot 5-16 from the field. Marquise Gray’s inconsistent play and inability to make lay-ups (as a 6-8 power forward) was evident again. Shannon Brown was the only high point for the Spartans, as he scored 31 points (49% of State’s points).

Michigan State’s defense allowed the Badgers to shoot 53.7% from the field and 10-20 from behind the arc. The Spartans will not win eight games in the Big Ten if they allow teams to shoot like that.

The Spartans also had fourteen points, which Wisconsin converted to nineteen points.

This inexcusably dismal performance by MSU was multiplied by poor officiating. The Spartans were 11-16 from the free throw line, while Alando Tucker was 6-17 by himself. The Badgers were an appalling 14-30 from the line, but when a team shoots almost twice as many free throws something is not right. The final fouls were 23 against State and nineteen against Wisconsin. Officiating wasn’t the cause of this loss, but it was poor nonetheless.

MSU will face Indiana at the Breslin Student Event Center this Wednesday night. Indiana has a lot of momentum after a thrilling two-point victory over a solid Ohio State team. If the Spartans come out flat against Indiana and the Hoosiers jump to an early lead, State will lose their third game in a row, Izzo’s “train wreck” will continue and the Spartans will essentially eliminate themselves from the Big Ten title race.

MSU Will Sink or Swim with Neitzel

Oh way back on December 4th, 2005 I wrote a post about the Spartans struggling in the early non-conference season.

I discussed the team’s problems against a zone, Neitzel’s “dribblitis”, lack of defense and no movement on offense.

Most of these issues were blatantly apparent in Michigan State’s 60-50 loss to Illinois on Thursday night.

The Spartans defense wasn’t bad. Illinois just made some great shots. Almost every shot was contended and MSU played decent perimeter defense despite the Illini shooting 10-21 beyond the arc. And Illinois did not play in a zone to disrupt State.

Where MSU failed was on offense and it was due to the poor play of Drew Neitzel.

Michigan State will never have another point guard like Mateen Cleaves. However, Neitzel possesses the potential to be a very good point guard, he just plays too weakly.

The Spartans took an early 13-10 lead on an 11-2 run mostly due to Neitzel pushing the fast break and finding Paul Davis off dribble-drive penetration. Then after that Neitzel backed off, Davis got in foul trouble and the Illini ended the first half on a 25-15 run.

Neitzel routinely starts the MSU offense from 40 feet out. This allows defenses to pressure the ball and half-court and trap in the corners. He also picks up his dribble too early, allowing the trap to be even more successful. And when Neitzel does not pick up his dribble too early, he dribbles and dribbles and dribbles around the perimeter. In the game against Illinois he was called for a five second violation. That is inexcusable for a sophomore point guard with Neitzel’s experience.

Another Neitzel faux pas is his inability or lack of recognition to put the ball at a specific spot. He waits for Maurice Ager to be open as opposed to throwing the ball where Ager will be after streaking off a screen. Furthermore, Neitzel does not give the ball to Davis in the post on a regular basis and even more disconcerting is that Ager does not get enough touches. He only took eight shots against Illinois. The best offensive player in the Big 10 should shoot the ball between fifteen and twenty times.

So the Spartans success depends entirely on Neitzel. If he starts to run the offense in a more efficacious manner, i.e., feed Davis the ball on the block and get Ager the appropriate touches at the right times, as well as limit is tendency to dribble on the perimeter for most of the shot clock, MSU will go far in the NCAA Tournament and contend for a National Title. However, if Neitzel continues his play, the Spartans will have trouble winning eleven games in the Big 10.

The defense has improved, but now it is MSU’s offense that is slowing this team down. And the improvement on offense is solely on Neitzel’s back. The game at Wisconsin will tell if the Spartans can handle another top defensive team and if Neitzel can eliminate his mistakes and pick up MSU’s sluggish offense.

Guess Who's Back, Back Again

I know the four plus people who read this were worried that until yesterday I hadn’t posted a blog since 2005.

Well I’m back; cuz inside out is wiggidy wiggidy wack!

I was extremely busy with the holiday season, happy fun time (I miss you Jon!) and then moving to East Lansing for the month to do my neurology rotation. But I’ve talked about two ass-holes in my last two posts: Pat Robertson and Marcus Vick. Now I’ll talk about someone who is great: me. Just joking.

But now I have a little more time and I will share my silly meaningless thoughts with all of my friends who hear them anyway.

Thanks for reading. I love you all.

Vick Kicked Off Va Tech Football Team

Bye-bye Marcus Vick. You were/are a jerk.

Vick was kicked off of the Virginia Tech football team today due to numerous legal issues and his cheap shot to All-American Louisville defensive end Elvis Dumerville.

Now that’s Beamer Ball! Don’t f**k with Coach Beamer.

What a great move. Marcus Vick was not a special quarterback and from the off-field incidents and his unsportsmanlike conduct he doesn’t seem like a special person either.

I didn’t really have an opinion on Beamer or Virginia Tech football, but I do now. I love them!

Pat Robertson Finds New Etiology for Stroke

"He was dividing God's land, and I would say, 'Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the [European Union], the United Nations or the United States of America.”
"God says, 'This land belongs to me, and you'd better leave it alone.”

Who said that?

Well I gave it away in the headline. It was the entirely rational and intelligent Pat Robertson. Oh yeah, he’s also entirely a douche-bag.

I have been on the Neurology service at Sparrow Hospital the last three days and will continue in the outpatient neurology clinic at Michigan State. I haven’t worked on the stroke service at Sparrow, but I’ve done some general neurology consults. So I’m no stroke expert, but I do know a little about neurology and stroke.

Guess what? The medical literature does not indicate God as a cause or risk factor for stroke.

Here are the real risk factors for stroke. See if Sharon may fit any of them.

1. Hypertension (high-blood pressure)
2. Tobacco Abuse
3. Diabetes Mellitus Type II
4. Carotid/Arterial Atherosclerosis
5. Age
6. Gender (Male > Female)
7. History of stroke or MI
8. Family history

It’s hard to see if Sharon fits any of these because we don’t know his medical history. Maybe Robertson does know his history and can rule out these other risk factors, leaving God as the ONLY logical explanation.

I will make sure to let Dr. Pales know that I skipped my reading on meningitis and lumbar puncture tonight because I heard of a new etiology for cerebral vascular accidents. I’m sure she’ll understand.

Perhaps I have more to learn on my neurology service. I know I do.

Or maybe God should show his true vengeance and strike down Pat Robertson with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). “Woe unto any douche-bag that uses my name as the cause of stroke! “ God would say.

(I don’t personally wish this disease on anyone. It is an awful, fatal disorder and it is unfortunate for anyone to acquire it. But Robertson is still a dumb ass.)