Last Random Thoughts Before the Merger

I haven’t written as much since I’ve been back from Dallas. I thought my life would get a little less crazy than it had been the previous month and I could write more. I was wrong. But then I remembered the Second Law of Thermodynamics/Entropy: decreasing disorder in one system, increases disorder in another. My life makes sense now. It’s like when I read more and more about medicine, the less I know about other things. Is that Confucius? No, I think it’s a rip off of Homer Simpson. (Remember when I took that wine making class and forgot how to drive?)

Speaking of driving, the drive from Monroe to Southgate isn’t too long, but it’s long enough.

If I could have a cartoon dog as a pet, I’d choose either Scooby-Doo or Brain (from Inspector Gadget). That way if I ever needed a mystery solved they could help me.

For all those trendy indie kids who don’t like the Arctic Monkeys go sulk in your sarcasm. The Arctic Monkeys are good.

The Pistons beat the Heat 82-73. 73 points?! That’s all the offense Dwayne Wade, or as ESPN refers to him, God, and Shaq could manage? I thought the Heat were the new favorites in the East. Hmmm…

Will Michigan State basketball have a good season next year? Yes. The Ohio State and Wisconsin will compete for the Big Ten crown though.

I like denial because it takes less energy than rationalizations.

Lost is a very good television show, but Sun better not have an immaculate conception. That’d be stupid and I’d stop watching it.

Seven months is one more month than six months and can encompass all four seasons.

Steady Improvement With My Cellular Telephone

I’m desperately trying to hang on to one of my New Year’s Resolution.

The swearing one went out real f**king early. The eating healthy resolution…well, I just got done eating a turkey and cheese sandwich with a Mountain Dew and Nacho Doritos. Later I’ll have some Peanut M&M’s. So that isn’t going so well. My plan to curb my road rage kinda ended with the swearing resolution.

So all I’m left with is answering my phone and calling people back. Last time I wrote about my cell phone was in January and I was doing all right with returning calls. Now two months I think I have been making progress. Hooray for school! Hooray for me!

Here are the stats of my last 60 in-coming and out-going calls:

I’ve called 20 people and answered 20/40 calls on the first call. Out of the 20 I’ve missed, I’ve returned the call within the same day only six times. Now that doesn’t sound like a lot but let’s look at the reasons why I didn’t return all of those calls.

1. DJ called several times in the same day, two times from his cell and once from Waldenbooks about going out on St. Patrick’s Day. Henceforth, only one call had to be returned.
2. Dustin called two times on 3/16/06, the start of the NCAA Tournament to remind me about meeting at Sports to watch some of the games. Both of Dustin’s calls and DJ’s calls were made while I was working. I just couldn’t answer the phone. I was with patients.
3. Dr. Saad called early Thursday morning to tell me to come in later because he was on call the night before and still hadn’t completed the patient list. I met with him all day Thursday; so calling him back wasn’t that necessary.
4. Jeni called me once while we were together. She was getting her haircut and I was studying at Barnes and Noble. She wanted to know where I was but she saw me as she was talking on the phone. Why would I have to call her back?
5. Finally, my parents called me four times on 3/18/06 (5.17, 6.32, 6.41, 6.42 pm) and twice on 3/19/06 (12.38 and 1.03 pm) all concerning the same topic. I didn’t have my cell phone Saturday for a while and I was running on Sunday when they called. I called back shortly after my run and discussed the six calls I had missed. One call was sufficient to cover all of them.

When all of these missed calls are taken into consideration I just about returned every call. Sorry Paff, I missed yours. I am going to that concert and I’ll call you about it.

I answer almost all of Bryon’s calls, an improvement from last time when he was the person’s call I missed the most. Dave was number two on my list of frequent missed calls. I answered him the only time he called. Good for me.

Steady improvement. I’m pleased. Now if I can get my gersh dern swearing under control and stop eating sh*t. Oops.

NCAA Tournament Part IV: The Final Four

Thanks Jon for the kind words on your excellent blog. I’m still waiting for the merger though. A Rendezvous Absence? I like that name.

You were too kind though because I’ve been wrong about everything else so far with college basketball this season (except for my Drew Neitzel comments way back in December). But thank you, I’m glad you’ve enjoyed the posts.

Also, I too would like to jam a soldering iron into someone’s face. Let’s do that together. It would be therapeutic and no one would get hurt…except the dude who got stabbed, but f**k him, he probably deserved it.

Okay onto the final installment of my NCAA coverage: The Final Four. I have two Final Fours, my Fantasy Final Four and my Reality Bites Final Four. I’ll start with the Fantasy Final Four.

Final Fantasy Final Four

1. Duke – the Blue Devils have a legitimate shot to make a run at the national championship. Do I think they will? No. LSU could bounce Duke in the Sweet Sixteen or George Washington in the second round. JJ Reddick is a scoring if no one else knew that by now and although Sheldon Williams is ugly he has improved his 15-foot jump shot and will be tough to defend for most teams. If Duke survives GW and LSU they could meet Texas in the Elite Eight in a rematch from the 30 point drubbing the Dukies put on the Longhorns earlier this year. Payback is a bitch. I don’t see Duke going to the final four; hence they are in my fantasy final four.

2. UCLA – I don’t know why I have the Bruins going this deep. I think it is because they always find a way to win. I’ve watched the Bruins erase a double-digit deficit on the road against U of M and come back and beat Leon Powe and Cal on the road. I think UCLA is in a bracket ripe for upsets and they can slide easily into the final four. However, because they are so young and inexperienced I think they may get bounced by Gonzaga (if the Bulldogs get by Indiana) or Indiana. So the Bruins are more of a fantasy final four than a legit final four contender.

3. The OSU – Yeah the Buckeyes are good. Are they that good? I don’t know. JJ Sullinger can create his own shot, but at times takes bad shots and tries to isolate without dishing off to Terrance Dials in the post. The three-point field goal is always nice in the Tourney, but teams live and die by the three. I generally don’t like picking teams that play three-point line to three-point line to make a deep run, but when the Buckeyes are on, they’re really dangerous. However, Georgetown is tough. Getting by the Hoyas is no small task and thus I don’t see the OSU in the final four.

4. Michigan State – I always pick the Spartans and four out of the last seven years I’ve been right. I’ll take those odds. Paul Davis, Maurice Ager and Shannon Brown are unstoppable when clicking on all cylinders. The problem is that rarely happens due to inconsistent point guard play. The return of Matt Trannon is huge and the Spartans have depth and experience at the four again. On the down side the Spartans have never beaten the Tar Heels in the Tourney under Tom Izzo (0-2, but Izzo is undefeated in second round games) and it is an even year. In 2002 and 2004 the Spartans bowed out in the first round. I’m superstitious and therefore think this is more of a fantasy than a reality.

Reality Bites Final Four.

1. Duke – Why? Well it’s a weak bracket and who can really challenge the Blue Devils? Why not? The Blue Devils aren’t a great team and if Williams gets in foul trouble who can score inside? Moreover, Greg Paulus is a defensive liability and cannot find Reddick in close games.

2. Memphis – Why? Athleticism and the Tigers can control tempo. Rodney Carney is an outstanding athlete who has learned how to play basketball and can take-over a game. Why not? Tough defense seems to rattle this team and they have not been in too many close games. The Tigers played a tough non-conference schedule, but Conference USA is weak (minus UAB). Memphis may not know how to play in a close game and may fold under the pressure.

3. UConn – Why? The Huskies are the most talented team in the country. If Marcus Williams can distribute the ball to Josh Boone (also an all-ugly team candidate) and then get superstar Rudy Gay involved UConn is unbeatable. Why not? Boone disappears for periods of a game and Gay is out of control at times on isolation plays. UConn will only lose if they beat themselves. I find it hard to believe any team can flat out beat the Huskies.

4. Boston College – Why? Great inside-outside game and can control tempo (a common theme). Jared Dudley is versatile, Craig Smith is a load inside and Louis Hinnant can score when he needs to. Their physical play is their strength and BC can impose its will on other teams. Why not? The Eagles go on scoring droughts and sometimes don’t execute well, especially in an up-tempo game.

NCAA Tournament Part III: The Scragglers

Upsets. Teams I think will exit early. That’s negative talk. Let’s take a trip to positive town: teams that will be around late in the NCAA Tournament (Elite Eight or Final Four).

1. Boston College – I love Coach Al Skinner. His teams are aggressive and can control tempo in their half court sets. The Eagles are physical and can play with anyone. BC should have beaten Duke and lead Michigan State at the half in the Jimmy V Classic earlier in the season. Louis Hinnant is a more than capable point guard and Jared Dudley has the versatility to post up or play out on the perimeter. Craig Smith is a load down low and the Eagles will be able to use their physical play to go deep into the Tourney.

2. UCLA – Ben Howland has the Bruin faithful happy again. I don’t know how the two-seeded Bruins have fared this well this season because they are young and do not do anything excellent; just a lot of good things. Jordan Farmar is about as consistent as they come and guard play is so important when making a run in the NCAA tournament. UCLA’s biggest hurdle will be the Hoosiers in the Sweet Sixteen, but the Bruins will have enough to edge out Indiana and then advance to the Elite Eight and Final Four.

3. The Ohio State – This was my secret team (and Tennessee) for a while this year, but then the Buckeyes went on a tear and won the Big Ten and now everyone loves them. Terrance Dials is a force down low…when he gets the touches. JJ Sullinger reminds me of Michael Redd; two lefties that can slash and have a nice touch from beyond the arc. If the Buckeyes can get by the Hoyas in round two, they will march to Indianapolis and the Final Four.

4. Illinois – the Illini could face UConn in the Sweet Sixteen, assuming UConn can get past Kentucky or UAB. Dee Brown is a special player and James Augustine follows along for the ride. Illinois can upset UConn, but will need help from Rich McBride and freshman Jamar Smith. Bruce Weber is an excellent coach and has led the Illini to a Final Four and an Elite Eight in the past two seasons. It would be nice to see the Big Ten well represented late in the NCAA Tournament with the Buckeyes and the Illini.

NCAA Tournament Part II: The Early Outs

So I already wrote about what I think the potential upsets are. These are the four teams I think will bow out early in the Tourney.

1. Syracuse – I don’t think the Orange are that good, despite having Otto as their mascot. They needed a miracle shot to advance out of the first round of the Big East Tournament and just a week and a half ago they lost more than 30 at home to Seton Hall, the worst lost in Syracuse history. Texas A & M is a good team that can beat anyone with their solid defense and good perimeter game. Go Aggies.

2. Oklahoma – I had to sleep on this one. I like the Sooners, mostly because I like Kelvin Sampson. However, UW-Milwaukee is an outstanding team. If they had some more height they would be national champion contenders. The champs of the Horizon League play an up-tempo game on offense and defense and the Panthers will take it to the Sooners in an upset special.

3. Gonzaga – Yeah the Bulldogs are everyone’s final four pick. WRONG! Over-rated. Yeah, the WCC champions almost lost in their conference championship game to Loyola Marymount, a team that was 12-17 entering that game. The ‘Zags played in the best college game of the year (and in the last ten years) in the Maui Classic when they edged out Michigan State 109-106 (left side, left hand Suton) in triple overtime, but their defense is too weak to go deep in the Tourney. For all the thrills Adam Morrison brings offensively, he is a defensive liability. The Bulldogs will meet the Indiana Hoosiers in the second round and Marco Killingsoworth and Robert Vaden will dominate. Bye, Bye, Bulldogs.

4. Villanova – Well I would have put Florida here, but I figured I pick on the Gators enough (but they’ll get back to their spring semester of schooling before the weekend is done). The Wildcats will either meet the Wildcats or the Badgers in round two. Either way I think the eighth or ninth seed will upset Villanova. Both Arizona and Wisconsin are too big and are just as athletic as ‘Nova. The Wildcats will be the first number one seed to lose.

So there are my early outs. However, I’m always wrong, so pick those four teams to go deep into your tournament. Perhaps this will be the final four. Whatever, I think these teams will lose early.

NCAA Tournament Part I: The Upsets

Everyone who is going to fill out his or her bracket has filled it by now. I filled out six, four preliminary drafts and two final drafts.

The NCAA Tournament is the hardest sporting event to pick. However, I have had some success in the past. In 1999 I predicted a Final Four that included seventh seeded Ohio State and in 2003 I had an almost perfect first round going 28/32.

Picking upsets in the Tourney is always hip whether it is the twelve over the five seed or the fourteen over the three. Last year I had number thirteen Vermont over Syracuse and number fourteen Buck Nasty Bucknell over third seeded Kansas.

However, there aren’t two many first round upsets that strike me. But here are the four first round upsets I see and four potential second round upsets that could occur.

Upset 1: 12. Texas A&M over 5. Syracuse. A twelve over five seed is always a safe bet and I don’t buy the ‘Cuse as a strong team. Four days with four narrow wins, one of which was on a circus shot to win the game doesn’t sound like a top five team. I’ve seen both teams play several times and I like TAMU’s defense and the Orange have not done anything to impress me.

Upset 2: 14. South Alabama over 3. Florida. This upset might not happen, but I don’t think the Gators are Tournament ready. They played the weakest non-conference schedule and the SEC was worse than the Horizon League. If South Alabama can hang around late, they will pull if off.

Upset 3: 13. Bradley over 4. Kansas. The Jayhawks have improved immensely over the coarse of the year. Kudos to Bill Self. However, the Jayhawks have not had a lot of success in the Tournament recently and were bounced in the first round last year by the Bucknell Bison. Bill Self took Tulsa and Illinois to the Elite Eight, but has not been that successful at Kansas. Bradley is one of those Missouri Valley Conference teams that always seem to play well in the Tournament.

Upset 4: 13. Iona over 4. LSU. LSU has over-achieved this year with “Baby Shaq,” Glen Davis. Iona almost got past Oklahoma last year and is a very good mid-major team. I don’t know if they can get past LSU’s athleticism and size, but the Gaels can play and could just pull off an upset.

The second round will have many more intriguing match-ups.

Duke vs. George Washington: How GW got an eight seed is beyond me. GW can run and shoot and don’t mind playing an up-tempo game. The Blue Devils will have to bring their A-game to win this one.

Villanova vs. Wisconsin/Arizona: Can a team without Allen Ray and only one starter taller than 6’4” go far in the Tourney? No. Wisconsin’s flex offense or Arizona’s inside-outside play could be too much for the Wildcats.

Ohio State vs. Georgetown: Georgetown is better than a five seed and 7’2’’ Roy Hibbert can stop Terrance Dials. The Hoyas four corners offense threw off Duke and could easily confuse the Buckeyes. OSU lives and dies by the three, they need to be on to win this game.

North Carolina vs. Michigan State: When was the last time a defending National Champion lost in the second round of the NCAA tournament? 2003, when the Spartans knocked off the Terripans of Maryland. Can State do it again? In 2002 and 2004 the Spartans were upset in the first round, hopefully 2006 is like 2003 and not the previous two even years. Moreover Tom Izzo’s teams are undefeated in second round games.

Sorry, It was Fatigue Coach Izzo

Following Michigan State’s abysmal loss to the Iowa Hawkeyes in yesterday’s Big Ten Tournament semifinal game, Coach Tom Izzo said don’t blame the loss on fatigue.

When asked about the fatigue factor, Izzo replied, "The answer is no, fatigue had zero to do with the loss. It hand nothing to do with the loss, zero, zero, zero. Don't use it, don't say it, don't even ask it because it had nothing to do with the loss."

Okay. Then the Spartans are about as good as the girls basketball team I saw on Comcast Local a couple of days ago.

Sorry Coach Izzo, I’m gonna chalk this one up to fatigue, because if I don’t then I have to face the reality that the Spartans played the worst basketball I have seen them play in over eight years. My fragile mind can’t handle that.

Saturday Night is More Than All Right

Oh Detroit. How I love thee.

The night started very nicely: dinner at Xochimilcos, hanging out with Jacob and Jeni and drinking Pacifico (fabulous beer).

We shot the sh*t and Jacob said the Subways were playing at the Magic Stick. Jeni likes the Arctic Monkeys better than the Subways (and Fiona Apple more than all of them), but we thought heading over to the Magic Stick would be a good start to the night.

On the way into the Magic Stick a homeless man asked if I had any change. I politely replied, “Sorry man, I don’t.” This was true. I don’t care change in my pockets anymore because I don’t like hearing the jingle...and because I’m slowly going insane.

Then another homeless man asked, “How you doing man?” I again politely replied, “Sorry I don’t have any.” Well the homeless man became angry with me and yelled, “I didn’t ask you for change!” Then he threw a book at me. It missed.

Once we got in the Magic Stick we found out the Subways weren’t playing, but instead there was a free communist music rally. Oh communism, my favorite (seriously), but I’ve become too corporate for the communists now. I don’t wear ripped blue jeans and a 1970’s leisure coat, which I guess is the new communist uniform. We listened to Heroes ‘N” Villains try to imitate the old scary jams, but just didn’t do it as well. We only stayed for a bit and then took off to the Shelter to see who was playing there. We all wanted to take a bumper sticker that stated, “F**k Cool Cities.” We didn’t know if it cost money so no one took one. Jacob pointed out, “If it did cost money, I would have said, that’s so corporate.”

Along the way, Jeni wanted a cannoli from this bakery in Greektown. She had had it there over Super Bowl weekend and now wanted it again. Since the Shelter is kinda next door to Greektown we drove by to see if it was open. It was and it was an absolute madhouse in there. I dropped Jacob and Jeni off and circled the block. Jeni bought four cannolis.

We headed over to the Shelter and saw the bar, Cock ‘n’ Bull along the way. And Cock ‘n’ Bull has a shuttle bus. We called it the shuttlecock…’n’ bull. (We laughed about that for a while. If you didn’t laugh, sorry.)

When we finally got to the Shelter we couldn’t park in the lot next to it. It was $10 and Mr. E (or some other rapper) wasn’t rapping anymore. We decided to circle the block and park behind it. We found a great spot and as we were walking up to the entrance a homeless man without a book came up and talked to us. He said his name was Papa Smurf and he did security for the city of Detroit. For a small fee, just some change, he would watch our car. At first we were like, “Are you Smurfing serious,” but then we politely declined his gracious offer and moved into the Shelter. The band sucked. It was $10, so we left.

We drove around until we decided to walk along the new river walk behind the Ren Cen. There is a huge map of the world on the sidewalk, Jacob and I think it is a Mercator Projection (although Greenland is not too large), and we walked around the world. I ran in circles around the places I’ve been to in Europe, ran around Japan and sang, “I think I’m turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese, I really think so” and discussed how distorted the map of the Western Hemisphere was; South America was below Michigan, there was no Texas and New York City was in Pennsylvania.

Anyhoo, we decided to call it a night after we traveled around the world. Good night. It was unique, but not innovative, just like the Strokes, right Jacob?

The Risk Factors and Prevention of Strokes

Stroke is in the news again. This time with a tragic result as Minnesota Twin Hall of Famer, Kirby Puckett, died from a stroke at the age of 45.

This is the third significant story concerning cerbrovascular accidents (CVA), or stroke, in the last year and a half. Teddy Bruschi suffered a transient ischemic attack (TIA), which is a “mini-stroke” shortly after the 2005 Super Bowl and then Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon had a major CVA earlier this year.

I poked fun at Pat Robertson’s reasons for CVA in a previous post, but I think I’ll discuss it seriously here.

CVA are the equivalent to a heart attack only in the brain. They are the third leading cause of death in the United States behind malignancies and heart disease and they are one of the most expensive medical conditions to treat due to the long rehabilitation and significant morbidity that ensues after a CVA.

So what are the risk factors and how can a stroke be prevented?

Well sometimes it cannot be prevented. Teddy Bruschi was an unfortunate example of this. He had an atrial septal defect (ASD), which allowed a deep vein thrombosis (DVT) to travel from this right heart through a hole to the left heart and into his systemic circulation. This ultimately lead to the DVT traveling through is carotid artery and into the anterior circulation in his brain.

Other times people can have aneurysms that rupture resulting in hemorrhagic CVA, and unless the aneurysms are detected early it is difficult to prevent this type of CVA.

However, hemorrhagic CVA and Bruschi’s case are rare and the majority of CVA can be prevented either through therapeutic lifestyle changes (TLC), such as exercise and diet, or medications. The Joint National Commission Seven panel stated that by treating hypertension (HTN), high blood pressure, alone could result in a 25% decrease in myocardial infarction (MI), heart attack, and a 40% reduction in CVA.

Treating HTN, if present, is very important. Individuals should also try to eat a healthy diet low in saturated fats, high in omega-3-fatty acids and green vegetables as well as participate in moderate physical activity for 30 minutes at least five days per week. Moderate physical activity includes such activities as walking, mowing the lawn, cleaning the house or jogging.

The risk factors for CVA are similar to those for coronary heart disease and include: 1. Age (the older the age the greater the risk); 2. Sex (males are at an increased risk over females); 3. Race (African Americans are at a higher risk than white Americans); 4. Documented coronary or carotid atherosclerosis; 5. Previous CVA; 6. Positive family history; 7. Type II diabetes mellitus; and 8. HTN. Smoking is the number one cause of heart disease and a significant risk factor for stroke as well.

Kirby Puckett’s untimely death is an unfortunate reminder about the consequences of unhealthy living and vascular disease. Prevention of CVA and early recognition and treatment of a stroke are essential in avoiding the disastrous consequence that could ensue.

Big Ten Tourny Preview

The Big Ten Tournament will get underway this Thursday and as the regular season verified the conference is deep, talented and wide-open; anyone can win.

To avoid any suspense here are the outcomes:

Final Four: Illinois, Iowa, The Ohio State University, Indiana
Championship Game: Illinois v. The Ohio State
Champion: Illinois

The First Round
In the first game on Thursday Penn State squares off against Northwestern. Northwestern is an interesting team with upsets over Wisconsin and Iowa and a near upset over Ohio State. Northwestern wins this easily. Northwestern 62, Penn State 50.

Thursday will also see U of M face Minnesota. U of M has beaten Minnesota twice this year and won easily both times. However, it is hard to beat a team three times in one year. Daniel Horton will take the game over late and U of M squeaks by the Gophers. U of M 63, Minnesota 57

Michigan State will play for the first time on a Thursday since the tournament began. The Spartans face the Boilermakers and should have little difficulty handling Purdue. Purdue does not have the depth or the athleticism to play for forty minutes with the Spartans. MSU 72, Purdue 63

The Second Round
The Ohio State is riding high. The Buckeyes are the only team in the top seven not to lose to a lower tier team in the Big Ten. Northwestern hung with The Ohio State both times they played this year, but the Buckeyes have the Wildcats number. The OSU 65, Northwestern 55.

Bo Ryan got everything out of his Badgers he could this year. As a hated, but underrated coach he will have his team ready to compete. Indiana is playing well, but a team can only run so far on emotion. If Indiana can jump out to an early lead, they will win. But it won’t happen. Wisconsin 68, Indiana 65.

Iowa crushed U of M when the Wolverines traveled to Iowa City in the teams only meeting this season. U of M will want revenge, but won’t get it. Iowa always plays well in the Big Ten Tournament and will edge by Michigan to advance to the semifinals. Iowa 74, U of M 66.

The final game of Friday will face Illinois and Michigan State. Illinois has beat the Spartans the last three times they have faced-off. It will be four on Friday. The Illini have Michigan State’s number, or at least Dee Brown does. Illinois 76, Michigan State 67.

The Semifinals
The Ohio State will face Wisconsin in the rubber match game. Each team protected their home court in the previous two match-ups. Ohio State will have to find an answer for Alando Tucker. Tucker lit up the Buckeyes for 27 points in the last meeting. However, the Badgers don’t have anyone to match Terrance Dials post-play. The Ohio State will get win number 25 with foul shots late in the game. The OSU 74, Wisconsin 69.

Illinois and Iowa also split in the regular season. Illinois is the better team, but Jay Brunner, Adam Haluska and Jeff Horner find ways to win. Horner is a streaky shooter and has trouble keeping up with Dee Brown’s speed. Brunner and James Augustine of Illinois are equal match-ups and cancel each other out. If the Illini can shut down Haluska they will win. Illinois wins a very, very close game. Illinois 66, Iowa 63.

The Finals
The Ohio State only had to see Illinois once and that was at Value City Arena. The Buckeyes blew out the Illini 69-53. Thad Matta’s team was able to slow down Dee Brown and held him to 12 points on 5-13 shooting. The OSU was 13-23 from beyond the arc that game and held Illinois to 37% from the field. Those impressive numbers are easier to produce at home than on a neutral court in a high-stakes game. The Buckeyes, if they win, could be a dark-horse number one seed. But win or lose the OSU should get a two seed and play in Dayton for their first two games.

The Ohio State University will jump out to an early lead with great three point shooting, but Terrance Dials will get in foul trouble. The lack of depth in the front court will allow Augustine to score at ease. Brown will have a big second half and lead the Illini’s comeback. Illinois 77, The OSU 71.

Plano Texas Was No Plane Ole Time

Jon actually lives in North Dallas. But I thought the play on words was better. He lives close enough to Plano so back off.

The days were packed with fun and the nights with more fun.

We ate too much. We drank too much. Too much. (Dave Mathews is a bagadouche.)

There were funny moments (see last post) and there were sad moments, namely leaving.

We fought over which era of Spartan basketball had more heart, argued over trivia at Bdubs with a creepy 40-something year old, tangled with a Mandril at the Dallas Zoo, defeated Wilbur and Travelocity and fought off an eye infection. We walked around downtown Dallas and hung out by the pool. Emily finally remembered who sang Laid (James) as we made several, several, several drunk dials. Rafko got the blunt of them. Why Rafko? I’m not sure.

Surprisingly we only had one shot, a Jager Bomb at Bdubs.

We ate a lot of fantastic Mexican food and had the best barbeque sauce known to man. The Blue Goose rules, Sonny Bryans is super-sweet and the Osage Golden Wheat at Two Rows was outstanding. I love food and beer.

It was a great time. Thanks Jon. Sorry I ruined your couch and floor.

One-Liners and Conversations in the Big D With JC

These were some of the best one-liners and conversations in the last five days that Emily, Jon and I had while visiting JC in the Big D.

Some are hilarious without context; others probably are only funny in a “you had to be there” sense.

Notice Emily did not participate in too many funny statements. Interesting… She was a good sport though, because Jon and I were relentless in criticisms and teasing her. I guess she could get the Coach’s Choice Award for keeping her chin up under the attacks.

Jon’s Quotes
“Anyone who likes NASCAR has never touched a vagina.”

“It was like you were saying…what were you saying?”

“He came to Bdubs and ordered Grey Goose. He can go f**k himself.”

“What about kids with PM kindergarten?”

“We saved more than we spent.”

“I have herpes in my eye.”

“I’m on the up and up. Haven’t you seen my blog?”

“Oil and vinegar. Isn’t that douche?”

“Great. I got a hole in my shoulder. That gave me a little more street cred in Jamba Juice.”

“You know I went to Jamba Juice and I got my mail and I wasn’t wearing any underwear.”

“This place makes us fight. Why can’t we be friends?”

“I’m only gonna have three…teen.”

My Quotes
“What about those meerkats yesterday. What the f**k was there deal?”

“We should write down all the places that look cool and the street they’re on. Then we can go to them…wait, that’s gay.”

“All I want is a breef brisket.”

“I don’t know what I’ll do, but I will go to the corporate headquarters, God help me…I don’t know what else I can say or do.”

“Hello. I’d like to speak to Wilbur and Roger hung-up on me.”

“D as in delta, Z as in Zulu, V as in victor, F as in foxtrot, D as in delta, M as in Michael.”

Emily’s Quotes
“I’m not as funny as you guys. And I never will be.”

“These kids are playing their hearts out and the coaches are screwing it up.”

The Conversations
“We’ll let him go first.” Jon
“These are affirmative action stop signs.” Me

“What are you doing?” Emily
“Straightening up.” Me
“Well don’t move my clothes, you’ll mess them all up.” Emily
“I didn’t touch your clothes.” Me
“Well, it’s too loud.” Emily

“Someone from Brazil read my blog.” Jon
“They probably were searching for AIDS.” Emily
“That was mean.” Me
“What else would they be doing?” Emily

“I smell like Sonny Bryan’s.” Me
“Not over here man.” Jon

“Why’d he ask me if I wanted a margarita?” Emily
“Because a girl has never talked to him before. He heard of a margarita once in a movie.” Jon