One-Liners and Conversations in the Big D With JC
These were some of the best one-liners and conversations in the last five days that Emily, Jon and I had while visiting JC in the Big D.
Some are hilarious without context; others probably are only funny in a “you had to be there” sense.
Notice Emily did not participate in too many funny statements. Interesting… She was a good sport though, because Jon and I were relentless in criticisms and teasing her. I guess she could get the Coach’s Choice Award for keeping her chin up under the attacks.
Jon’s Quotes
“Anyone who likes NASCAR has never touched a vagina.”
“It was like you were saying…what were you saying?”
“He came to Bdubs and ordered Grey Goose. He can go f**k himself.”
“What about kids with PM kindergarten?”
“We saved more than we spent.”
“I have herpes in my eye.”
“I’m on the up and up. Haven’t you seen my blog?”
“Oil and vinegar. Isn’t that douche?”
“Great. I got a hole in my shoulder. That gave me a little more street cred in Jamba Juice.”
“You know I went to Jamba Juice and I got my mail and I wasn’t wearing any underwear.”
“This place makes us fight. Why can’t we be friends?”
“I’m only gonna have three…teen.”
My Quotes
“What about those meerkats yesterday. What the f**k was there deal?”
“We should write down all the places that look cool and the street they’re on. Then we can go to them…wait, that’s gay.”
“All I want is a breef brisket.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do, but I will go to the corporate headquarters, God help me…I don’t know what else I can say or do.”
“Hello. I’d like to speak to Wilbur and Roger hung-up on me.”
“D as in delta, Z as in Zulu, V as in victor, F as in foxtrot, D as in delta, M as in Michael.”
Emily’s Quotes
“I’m not as funny as you guys. And I never will be.”
“These kids are playing their hearts out and the coaches are screwing it up.”
The Conversations
“We’ll let him go first.” Jon
“These are affirmative action stop signs.” Me
“What are you doing?” Emily
“Straightening up.” Me
“Well don’t move my clothes, you’ll mess them all up.” Emily
“I didn’t touch your clothes.” Me
“Well, it’s too loud.” Emily
“Someone from Brazil read my blog.” Jon
“They probably were searching for AIDS.” Emily
“That was mean.” Me
“What else would they be doing?” Emily
“I smell like Sonny Bryan’s.” Me
“Not over here man.” Jon
“Why’d he ask me if I wanted a margarita?” Emily
“Because a girl has never talked to him before. He heard of a margarita once in a movie.” Jon
Some are hilarious without context; others probably are only funny in a “you had to be there” sense.
Notice Emily did not participate in too many funny statements. Interesting… She was a good sport though, because Jon and I were relentless in criticisms and teasing her. I guess she could get the Coach’s Choice Award for keeping her chin up under the attacks.
Jon’s Quotes
“Anyone who likes NASCAR has never touched a vagina.”
“It was like you were saying…what were you saying?”
“He came to Bdubs and ordered Grey Goose. He can go f**k himself.”
“What about kids with PM kindergarten?”
“We saved more than we spent.”
“I have herpes in my eye.”
“I’m on the up and up. Haven’t you seen my blog?”
“Oil and vinegar. Isn’t that douche?”
“Great. I got a hole in my shoulder. That gave me a little more street cred in Jamba Juice.”
“You know I went to Jamba Juice and I got my mail and I wasn’t wearing any underwear.”
“This place makes us fight. Why can’t we be friends?”
“I’m only gonna have three…teen.”
My Quotes
“What about those meerkats yesterday. What the f**k was there deal?”
“We should write down all the places that look cool and the street they’re on. Then we can go to them…wait, that’s gay.”
“All I want is a breef brisket.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do, but I will go to the corporate headquarters, God help me…I don’t know what else I can say or do.”
“Hello. I’d like to speak to Wilbur and Roger hung-up on me.”
“D as in delta, Z as in Zulu, V as in victor, F as in foxtrot, D as in delta, M as in Michael.”
Emily’s Quotes
“I’m not as funny as you guys. And I never will be.”
“These kids are playing their hearts out and the coaches are screwing it up.”
The Conversations
“We’ll let him go first.” Jon
“These are affirmative action stop signs.” Me
“What are you doing?” Emily
“Straightening up.” Me
“Well don’t move my clothes, you’ll mess them all up.” Emily
“I didn’t touch your clothes.” Me
“Well, it’s too loud.” Emily
“Someone from Brazil read my blog.” Jon
“They probably were searching for AIDS.” Emily
“That was mean.” Me
“What else would they be doing?” Emily
“I smell like Sonny Bryan’s.” Me
“Not over here man.” Jon
“Why’d he ask me if I wanted a margarita?” Emily
“Because a girl has never talked to him before. He heard of a margarita once in a movie.” Jon
posted by az at 11:53 PM
2 Comments:
these are my favs...and emily had the best lines.
she's funnier than you, dj, and jon all put together. aaaahhh snap!
“What are you doing?” Emily
“Straightening up.” Me
“Well don’t move my clothes, you’ll mess them all up.” Emily
“I didn’t touch your clothes.” Me
“Well, it’s too loud.” Emily
“Someone from Brazil read my blog.” Jon
“They probably were searching for AIDS.” Emily
“That was mean.” Me
“What else would they be doing?” Emily
emily is not funnier than all those people. she's hilarious right after she wakes up, but it's hard to sleep all the time...unless you're a narcoleptic, then it's easy. but i bet it wouldn't be as funny if she did it all the time.
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