Pat Robertson Finds New Etiology for Stroke
"He was dividing God's land, and I would say, 'Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the [European Union], the United Nations or the United States of America.”
"God says, 'This land belongs to me, and you'd better leave it alone.”
Who said that?
Well I gave it away in the headline. It was the entirely rational and intelligent Pat Robertson. Oh yeah, he’s also entirely a douche-bag.
I have been on the Neurology service at Sparrow Hospital the last three days and will continue in the outpatient neurology clinic at Michigan State. I haven’t worked on the stroke service at Sparrow, but I’ve done some general neurology consults. So I’m no stroke expert, but I do know a little about neurology and stroke.
Guess what? The medical literature does not indicate God as a cause or risk factor for stroke.
Here are the real risk factors for stroke. See if Sharon may fit any of them.
1. Hypertension (high-blood pressure)
2. Tobacco Abuse
3. Diabetes Mellitus Type II
4. Carotid/Arterial Atherosclerosis
5. Age
6. Gender (Male > Female)
7. History of stroke or MI
8. Family history
It’s hard to see if Sharon fits any of these because we don’t know his medical history. Maybe Robertson does know his history and can rule out these other risk factors, leaving God as the ONLY logical explanation.
I will make sure to let Dr. Pales know that I skipped my reading on meningitis and lumbar puncture tonight because I heard of a new etiology for cerebral vascular accidents. I’m sure she’ll understand.
Perhaps I have more to learn on my neurology service. I know I do.
Or maybe God should show his true vengeance and strike down Pat Robertson with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). “Woe unto any douche-bag that uses my name as the cause of stroke! “ God would say.
(I don’t personally wish this disease on anyone. It is an awful, fatal disorder and it is unfortunate for anyone to acquire it. But Robertson is still a dumb ass.)
"God says, 'This land belongs to me, and you'd better leave it alone.”
Who said that?
Well I gave it away in the headline. It was the entirely rational and intelligent Pat Robertson. Oh yeah, he’s also entirely a douche-bag.
I have been on the Neurology service at Sparrow Hospital the last three days and will continue in the outpatient neurology clinic at Michigan State. I haven’t worked on the stroke service at Sparrow, but I’ve done some general neurology consults. So I’m no stroke expert, but I do know a little about neurology and stroke.
Guess what? The medical literature does not indicate God as a cause or risk factor for stroke.
Here are the real risk factors for stroke. See if Sharon may fit any of them.
1. Hypertension (high-blood pressure)
2. Tobacco Abuse
3. Diabetes Mellitus Type II
4. Carotid/Arterial Atherosclerosis
5. Age
6. Gender (Male > Female)
7. History of stroke or MI
8. Family history
It’s hard to see if Sharon fits any of these because we don’t know his medical history. Maybe Robertson does know his history and can rule out these other risk factors, leaving God as the ONLY logical explanation.
I will make sure to let Dr. Pales know that I skipped my reading on meningitis and lumbar puncture tonight because I heard of a new etiology for cerebral vascular accidents. I’m sure she’ll understand.
Perhaps I have more to learn on my neurology service. I know I do.
Or maybe God should show his true vengeance and strike down Pat Robertson with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). “Woe unto any douche-bag that uses my name as the cause of stroke! “ God would say.
(I don’t personally wish this disease on anyone. It is an awful, fatal disorder and it is unfortunate for anyone to acquire it. But Robertson is still a dumb ass.)
posted by az at 11:31 PM
4 Comments:
If Pat Robertson knows and understands God so well, as he always audaciously announces that he does, then maybe he is God.
nice blog. i could follow it perfectly.
if it was about sports, my head would be spinning.
Pat Robertson has done for Christianity what herpes has done for sex.
maybe he is god. i doubt it though. god is cool and robertson droolz!
thank you jeni. i'm glad you could follow it.
nice analogy. i don't hate herpes as much as i hate christianity though. just joking. or am i? i am. maybe robertson could get some valacyclovir (valtrex)
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