Pittsburgh Wins Big in Tecmo Super Bowl
My first day as a professional media expert covering the Super Bowl didn’t go quite as expected.
It is too warm in Michigan right now to wear my official USA Today media jacket, so I haven’t gotten to do any reporting.
Since I could not get anywhere near anything Super Bowl related, I decided to play the game myself…Super Tecmo Bowl style.
That’s right, the ole NES is the most accurate predictor of football games ever. Its realistic game play dwarfs that of the new Madden or any other professional football game.
There is no need to watch the game, because I’m going to tell you what will happen. So this is what will happen February 5th, 2006 at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.
(Disclaimer: I was the Pittsburgh Steelers.)
In the first quarter, both teams will be jittery. Dave Krieg will throw an interception and Brian Blades will fumble the ball after a reception. The Steelers will be unable to capitalize on these mistakes. Bubby Brister will throw two interceptions, including one in the end zone, and the Seahawks will lead 3-0 after one quarter.
The game will take a turn for the worse for the underdog Seattle team as Bubby Brister catches fire after throwing his third interception. Brister will connect with Louis Lipps on a Hail Mary as the first half concludes. Steelers 7, Seahawks 3 at the half.
The half time will be somewhat risqué. A cheerleader will show her underpants and will wink into the camera. The FCC will be pissed.
The second half will be all Pittsburgh. The Steelers MLB, Hardy Nickerson, will have four sacks and a safety to seal the Seahawks fate. Pittsburgh’s rushing attack never will gain full steam, but will be sufficient enough to take time off the clock and set up a field goal and two more Brister TD passes.
Seattle fell apart in the fourth quarter. The Seahawks were only down 14-3 entering the fourth, but Nickerson’s safety and two Brister TD’s and a field goal left the NFC (they were still in the AFC when Tecmo Bowl came out) Champs down 33-3. The game will end and the Pittsburgh Steelers will be victorious.
There it is. Pittsburgh wins Super Bowl XL 33-3.
It is too warm in Michigan right now to wear my official USA Today media jacket, so I haven’t gotten to do any reporting.
Since I could not get anywhere near anything Super Bowl related, I decided to play the game myself…Super Tecmo Bowl style.
That’s right, the ole NES is the most accurate predictor of football games ever. Its realistic game play dwarfs that of the new Madden or any other professional football game.
There is no need to watch the game, because I’m going to tell you what will happen. So this is what will happen February 5th, 2006 at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.
(Disclaimer: I was the Pittsburgh Steelers.)
In the first quarter, both teams will be jittery. Dave Krieg will throw an interception and Brian Blades will fumble the ball after a reception. The Steelers will be unable to capitalize on these mistakes. Bubby Brister will throw two interceptions, including one in the end zone, and the Seahawks will lead 3-0 after one quarter.
The game will take a turn for the worse for the underdog Seattle team as Bubby Brister catches fire after throwing his third interception. Brister will connect with Louis Lipps on a Hail Mary as the first half concludes. Steelers 7, Seahawks 3 at the half.
The half time will be somewhat risqué. A cheerleader will show her underpants and will wink into the camera. The FCC will be pissed.
The second half will be all Pittsburgh. The Steelers MLB, Hardy Nickerson, will have four sacks and a safety to seal the Seahawks fate. Pittsburgh’s rushing attack never will gain full steam, but will be sufficient enough to take time off the clock and set up a field goal and two more Brister TD passes.
Seattle fell apart in the fourth quarter. The Seahawks were only down 14-3 entering the fourth, but Nickerson’s safety and two Brister TD’s and a field goal left the NFC (they were still in the AFC when Tecmo Bowl came out) Champs down 33-3. The game will end and the Pittsburgh Steelers will be victorious.
There it is. Pittsburgh wins Super Bowl XL 33-3.
posted by az at 1:44 PM
15 Comments:
Nice. I would try the same thing, but I can not find Tecmo Super Bowl anywhere. I guess it is time to Ebay it. I stick to the Tetris and the Dr. Mario mainly.
Why are you not working?
i am working...as a professional journalist. instead discussing this via blog comments, i'll just call.
jon, i'll bring it when i come down if you can hold out that long. i couldn't, but if you can you'll have a shiny nes game.
I can hold out that long, it is not a heroin addiction or anything like that.
Are you getting scolded by your father?
If I write a blog about the weather, does that make me a professional environmental journalist? If so, watch out EZ, I am going to steal your award.
thats hilarious. i played the same game last night. i was the steelers and my brother ryan was the seahawks. i concur that the steelers will win. the seahawks had a bad case of the turnover bug. the seahawks threw 3 interceptions and lost 2 fumbles (one that was returned for a fumble) steelers 28. seahawks 7. i think the seahawks were all too content with making it to the big game for the first time... or i am better at nintendo than ryan. take it as you will. -c
I might have to dust off the old "NFL quarterback club" for my Genesis. It's just more scientific.
jon, you're an environmental journalist in my heart.
chris, to force that many turnovers, you must have had a nice defensive scheme. did you select b and over or a and up. what's your secret?
dj, although nfl quarterback club is a very good game, i think super tecmo bowl is the best game ever.
I can't believe this conversation. Your generation is going to be in charge of this country someday. I can visualize the following scenario:
"There is going to be a terrorist attack!"
"Let's get out the NES and play a game of Contra, so we can figure out our next move."
Getting a plan of attack from Contra would probably still be more effective than andy of President Bush's methods in dealing with terrorists.
The, "Contra," or, "No Man Left Behind," strategy for war would be, at best, inefficient and, at worst, catastrophic, were it to be applied to modern warfare, especially the ill-defined, "War on Terror."
The Contra warriors lack the clandestine abilities, and diplomatic restraint that is crucial in this unprecedented and turbulent conflict with religious extremists. Plus, if one guy wants to stay around to kill off some enemies, his partner can't move off-screen, and that's just clumsy.
If we were to follow any fighting or rescue style it would be the "Super Mario Bros. style," where-in, two undercover agents follow the same ground at different intervals, following slightly diverging paths to glory. In this situation we are able to cover more bases and we have a greater opportunity for independent research on our enemy. While it may seem slightly less efficient to deploy multiple agents to the same scene to perform, ostensibly, the same task, we find a much greater success rate, and ultimately a greater understanding of this complex world of pipes and knife throwing turtles in which we now find ourselves.
if you play w/ san fran you can sack the quaterback w/ matt millen. proving he is not entirely worthless. however, he only makes plays if i choose him as my primary defender. apparently, he can't make the play without my direction and is completley devoid of the ability to make decisions on his own. go figure.
The comment on Matt Millen is true. It is like real life. Without any kind of direction, he drives the Lions to failure, year after year.
I think that our generation is smart enough to use Super C as our roadmap to peace.
If I got to live in the White House, you better believe that I would play Laser Tag everyday. I imagine there are a lot of good hiding places there.
I played Double Dribble today. That game is worthless and stupid. I am not sure how this game passed the stringent standards of NES game developing.
dj, i think contra would be a great war strategy. think about it. if bush went up up, down down, left right, left right, b a, b a, select start..two people would get 30 lives. think about the advantage that would have. plus, having the spread gun is sweat.
millen is a douche. he will always be a douche. every once and awhile a douche can get a sack, with some help, but it never can erase the doucheness.
i don't remember the double dribble game. i don't like the sound of it. any game that is titled as a turnover does not get my vote.
No. You're worng.
millen isn't a douche?
i hate mario brothers.
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